Skipping Stones

This isn’t a poem, its not a song … it has no structure, no intended rhyme – just an intention of my feelings and expressions.

Lonely and missing you, I leave my house with only a guess of where my feet are taking me. I had no intentions when I left, just the thought of you clouding my mind. Ending up at the waters edge I find clarity. This place is tranquility. It is peaceful, calm and soothing. I love it here.

I sit there and let my mind wander. My mind doesn’t wander far but it wanders vividly and fast. Its only you I think of but there is so much about you that I explore. I think of how I will express this to you. As I begin to skip rocks on the lake like I did as a child, poetry comes to mind. I think of how I will write to you. My feelings are so deep and at the moment my mind is articulate. Looking for the perfect rock to skip I compare this to finding my love.

I find many rocks that will skip beautifully so I set them apart from the others in a pile. As I start to throw the rocks to the water I think more about you, about love, about life and about my future. As I’m throwing the rocks I realize that it never matters if you find the perfect one because you are just throwing it away. You will want that rock back but it is lost forever once it leaves your grasp.

When do you know what to risk in life? If I were to find the perfect rock should I keep it or throw it? It only comes along once. So I think about you. Right now you are the most perfect thing I have touched, held, kissed and even seen. I have no desire to let go. I will never let go of you.

So I think more deeply. Clarity hits me finally. You throw these rocks and see what happens. If you find the perfect rock you have to trust it will work. Maybe you even have to take the plunge together. I have hesitated with you but now I realize, as I sat by the water and thought, I need you in my life and want to jump in head first. I don’t want to stay on the shore alone, I want to be with you wherever you go.

As I write you this expression of me, my feelings and my thoughts I once again come to a more subtle understanding. I sit by the water, the place I want to live... This place where I want my future, my wife, my kids and my life. I came to the water to wonder about you. I came to this place in which I have been certain I want my future to be held and I have come here with you in mind. I have come here solely because of you. It is clear to me. I sat where my future lies and thought of who will be there to share it with. My final bit of clarity is that I came to the place of my future and realized it is with you.

It is clear to me.